Forgive Me Father For I have Sinned

Yes, I am guilty! I have committed the ultimate sin!!! I have gained 2.5 kilos.

Fuck.

One week ago I had lost 7 kilos!!! I had gone from 108 kg to 101 kg - wooot!!! And then I let my attention slip! Losing 7 kilos made me feel so elated, successful, empowered! I had finally lost a significant amount of weight in  healthy way for the very first time - I was really proud of myself. My weight loss app on my phone told me I would reach my goal of 80kg by March 2013 - that's 28 kilos in less than 6 months! I felt like it was easy. I had support and congratulations from my friends and co-workers. People were sharing their stories, talking to me, emailing me and seeking my advice. Most amazing of all, they were telling me how my blog has motivated or inspired them. I felt so good, so happy, so right.

And then I took my eye off the prize.

I lost my focus...

...and I gained 2.5 kilos.

So, tonight I am confessing my sins!


Today, I resisted eating all of this delicious food at work for our Melbourne Cup luncheon - not one bite!!!!

 

And then tonight, I ate half a batch of cheesecake mixture, and then started on the chocolate mousse.

Ugh.

In the last few days I have eaten 2 cheesecake mixtures and about half of a batch of chocolate mousse (I threw the other half out just before writing this blog post). That's about 20,000 kilojoules.

Yep, I calculated it.

Kinda wish I had worked that out before eating it.

I also had people over on the weekend and drank champagne, and ate Indian take away (although I did pick the best thing I could I suppose), aaaaand I drank 3/4 s of a bottle of Moet to celebrate the purchase of my first ever new car - Pearl.

Pretty Pearl

These bad eating days have caused SEVERE temptation to go back to my old habits and starve myself to make up for it. But no, I will not do that to myself. They have made me hate myself, and they have made me feel really down on myself. Eating badly is not just bad for your body and physical health, it ruins your mental health too. I feel disgusting inside, and I feel sick.

So yeah, Ive been bad, really bad, and it's time to fess up and its time to STOP!

Tomorrow I will eat correctly, I will not starve, I will not skip a meal - and I will begin exercise again. I had a goal to be under 100 kg for my birthday on the 19th November, and now it doesnt look like I will make it. When I was 101.2 kg with 19 days to go it was going to be easy, now it's not likely. Oh well, shit happens, and this isn't about losing weight for a date, a holiday or a birthday, it's about losing weight from having a healthy life and feeling the benefits both physically and mentally.

We all fall down, we all lose track - but we ALL can do it.

And I will.

See you in a few kilos!!!